I'm started this blog as an attempt at healing. It's a purely selfish endeavor. I've got so much hurt in me that I haven't been able to get out and I'm hoping that this forum will provide some of the relief I know I desperately need. And it will be salacious. And shocking. And pathetic. And maybe, just maybe, there's someone else out there in the same situation. And maybe by putting it all out there we can find some peace together.
These will be stories about betrayal, infidelity (lots of it), manipulation, humiliation, and all manner of interpersonal deviance. I'm going to make my best attempt at relating my feelings, memories and recollections in real time, as they come up for me, which at this moment feels like a massive undertaking. The torrent of emotions I go through on a daily basis is stifling and I feel like I'm still just at the beginning of having any real awareness of them. But my aim is to use this as an outlet for honest expression of what goes on inside of me.
And these are not going to be your ordinary stories about heartbreak. I think far from it. Because in my experience, most broken heart stories are about the past. Things that happened but now are over. But these stories are different because the one who broke my heart is my wife. IS my wife. She's still here. I'm still here. We're still, somehow, married. And we've got a kid. She's in second grade. And I love her. And that's the only thing in this world I trust -- that I love my daughter. And maybe that's the only reason I'm here, trying to write about the pain that comes from this situation. So, thank you, my daughter for showing me my heart. And giving me the desire to become whole. For you. And for me.
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